Being the Nigerian President has to be the world’s most difficult job

Ikechi Michael
5 min readSep 7, 2017

Decades of human labor at companies since the Industrial Revolution began has shown that working with humans is extremely difficult.

If the labor laws don’t get you, the unions will; and if the unions don’t, the lawyers will.

Heck, if the lawyers don’t, there are always the economic recessions, gender conflicts and sex scandals waiting to happen, to ensure that you remain famous as the guy who managed to ruin the company.

A totally unrelated photo [photo credits]

I have immense respect for CEOs who manage to build stable productive structures despite all these challenges.

For the ones who haven’t yet, it’s not from lack of trying.

I have had the honor of working with people for a few years, and trying to lead a few people is hard.

Very hard!!!

Here’s why it’s much much harder when you’re the Nigerian President:

People do not want to be led

There’s the famous saying:

You can lead a horse to the water, but you can’t force it to drink water

All I drink is barley wine and vodka!!!

With humans, it’s even more difficult.

We will insist that the road to the stream is bad for us and steadfastly refuse to take any road that does not lead further into the desert simply because we are trying to assert our independence.

Turn left; Yes, that’s where I want to go [photo credits]

Think about how many times you have seen a group of people make decisions that are bad for them simply because they are trying to prove a point.

Everybody wants to be the boss … It’s not in our nature to serve.

You think I’m wrong?

Think about the training soldiers go through to acquire this skill.

Kumbaya!!! [photo credits]

We have Factions: Each with their own agenda

So, you won the election … It was hard and bitter.

Victory for Democracy!!!

Your opponents have retreated, licking their wounds. Hooray!?

Think again!

Your opponents have regrouped and are canvassing for support from the populace to make sure your administration fails.

Because you want peace in the country, you’ll attempt to please the strongest by picking a few of them in your cabinet.

It won’t work, of course.

Every one of them has set their sights on your seat and will stop at nothing to get it.

So why can’t you just pick your friends? Well, that’s because:

Power brings out the true character in People

I wonder who first said the famous saying:

If you want to truly know a Man, give Him a little power

You think just placing your trusted friends in your cabinet will solve the problem of potential Trojan Horses in your cabinet?

Besides it probably being illegal, your friends will change.

Few can see the amount of wealth that Nigeria has, flowing unchecked through it every day, and resist its temptations.

Soon, you’ll be chasing after your once trusted friends with an anti-corruption squad.

How do you look your “paddy” in the eye and send him to jail?

Use sunglasses, that’s how [photo credits]

Yet, you have to. Why?

Because the others are watching with hungry eyes

Someone compared them to Hyenas, analyzing every move for signs of weakness, so they can swoop in to take control.

I don’t like to use the term “Hyenas”, as that would mean that Nigeria is a dead state.

I have much more hope in this country, so it had better not be dead.

So let’s call them wolves, yea?

If only they were starks [photo credits]

Moving in packs that are spoken for by the Alphas among them, each with bloody red eyes that seek your … umm, throne?

You’re a King, whether you like it or not

We are Africans!

We’re used to having rulers and kings make our decisions and fight our battles, so the idea of a leader who serves us is nonsensical.

A true African Leader! [photo credits]

What kind of leader is he if he does not live in the biggest house and drive the biggest cars?

So, you want to be a reformer, yea?

Make sure everyone has equal rights and opportunities, huh?

You want to show that you’re not “chopping” all the money by wearing normal work clothes and not huge attires that were made in the “abroad” and cost a fortune, “shey”?

Get ready to lose respect from the very people you want to empower.

You will be seen as weak and ridiculed as a leader who lacks style and power.

Your own people (oh yes … your village people) will think you have gone mad and are embarrassing them on a nation-wide scale.

It might make a difference if your entire administration follows your example, but then, how do you convince them?

Remember our first point about how we don’t want to be told what to do?

Good luck with convincing members of your cabinet to abandon their dreams of riding around in a Porsche while wearing 100% Cashmere.

Continuing on how frustrating being a leader can be:

You’re susceptible to depression and it can be fatal

Let’s re-examine the proverb from a different perspective:

You can lead a horse to the water, but you can’t force it to drink water

Now, think about the owner of that horse, and put yourself in his shoes (stirrups?) … you have owned this horse for a while and have come to feel affection for it.

The horse is dying of thirst and it is showing; You manage to get it to the stream and are trying to get it to drink from that life-giving water.

Yet, it refuses …

Come on Drogo, you can do it [photo credits]

Right in front of you, it is pining away visibly and it breaks your dear heart.

You double your efforts and do all you can, short of actually neighing like a horse (maybe you even do that) to convince this equine piece o’ work to just take a drink to save its own life.

Now, think about the heart-break that is bound to befall the Nigerian President who actually tries to do his/her job.

Think on that and tell me from your deepest of hearts how easy you think being the Nigerian President would be in the comments section below:

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Ikechi Michael

I’ve learned I don’t know anything. I've also learned that people will pay for what I know. Maybe that's why they never pay.